‘Paano Kita Iibigin’ REVIEW: The fine line between loving and enabling
‘Paano Kita Iibigin’ REVIEW: The fine line between loving and enabling
Martee (Regine Velasquez) comforts Lance (Piolo Pascual).
This review contains spoilers on Paano Kita Iibigin.
A question posed from time to time goes as such: “How do you begin to love someone who doesn’t know how to love themselves?” It’s quite a riddle that demands a lengthy discussion on self-care and self-love. Truth be told, no one holds the absolute answer to this dilemma, but there are some attempts. One effort in particular was Bernal’s Paano Kita Iibigin, a not-so typical romcom from 2007 starring Piolo Pascual and Regine Velasquez as the film’s lovers. Set in a resting house called “Heaven Resort” in Zambales, it is a tale of fateful meetings that shows the duality of love, as refreshing and agonizing as it can be.
The awaited “encounter” of the couple in the film happens early as Martee (Regine Velasquez), a call center agent, receives a call from Lance (Piolo Pascual) asking if his card has been cancelled. From this scene, we already get an impression of the two’s personalities as Martee asserts her strong character and lashes out at Lance's classist and degrading remarks. This then results in her being fired from her job which becomes the catalyst for the stressful situation that follows—being evicted from their house and ending up in Zambales to give her asthmatic son the break he, and ultimately she, needs.
Heaven Resort is owned by Lance, unsurprisingly. Some flashbacks occur in the movie à la Lost that give us a hint of why he is acting like, as Martee put it, the “son of the Devil” in the present. Turns out, Lance was in love with Tessa (Iya Villania), the daughter of a business partner. He intended to marry her and succeeded with a shotgun wedding as he proposed on the same day. But as he and his friends were too busy having fun and getting drunk, they were involved in a car accident where only Lance survived.
Martee and Lance flirt with each other over breakfast, with Liwayway (Eugene Domingo) nosing about.
That part of the film plays largely in its themes of regret and self-resentment. Unfortunately, it was sabotaged by the film’s editing as it’s a bit laughable. It felt like a commercial for alcohol with the “Drink Responsibly” part subtly expressed. This is the reason why Lance has been so irritable and mad at everything he sees. Everyone grieves differently, and here we have Lance projecting his hate for himself to others.
Martee also has a tough past. Aside from not being able to make ends meet, her problem actually started from an unplanned pregnancy. Liam (Quintin Alianza) was a result of premarital sex and was raised alone by his mother as his father didn’t really love Martee to begin with. So we have Lance, a suicidal and heartbroken man who lives an aimless life, and Martee whose son seeks a father figure. Putting two and two together and a relationship blossoms between the opposite strangers.
Now the problem with Lance’s situation is that Martee, the person closest to his heart, keeps reminding him that it’s not his fault when in fact, it is. It’s alright to comfort people, but it’s different in Lance’s case as he was the one who decided to get drunk and drive. It’s not entirely his fault, but he needs to accept that he’s also to blame. The film should have gone in that direction, but it didn’t. Tessa’s family did what Martee should have done, which was to confront him and let him reflect on his mistakes.
However, is Martee really accountable for how Lance deals with his grief? Having just met him, is it possible that we’re demanding so much from her? Well, the answer for both of these can be yes or no to some extent. She’s definitely involved in his life now with that steamy sex scene and all their flirting, so she also has the decision and the influence to enable his destructive behavior or help him. However, friends, or partners, are just there to guide you, but remember that in this world, you are alone. You are born alone and you die alone, so whatever your decisions in life are, you’re the only one who is responsible. Lance’s depression can only be resolved by himself no matter how hard Martee tries to convince him not to “fly himself to death.”
Piolo Pascual’s Lance is overcome with grief in Paano Kita Iibigin.
A recurring theme in the movie is unfulfilled promises leading to disappointments. First we have Mon (Jett Pangan) who doesn’t marry Martee. The developments that Martee and the staff are doing with the resort seem to be useless as it is revealed that Lance is planning to sell it. The untimely death of Tessa results in a depressed Lance. The batteries that Lance didn’t buy for Liam’s airplane. Lastly, and smack-dab in the center of the movie, Lance’s promise to Martee that he’ll get to love her too at some point.
One can pity Martee in the movie as she hopelessly falls in love with Lance who doesn’t have a firm stand yet on their relationship unlike her who is ready to settle down with him. Well no one can really blame her for her actions as we can see Lance giving her motive, it’s just that Martee responded so foolishly in love that she only ended up getting hurt. Case in point is her saying, “I love you,” to Lance while he doesn’t return those sweet words. That’s actually cool and refreshing to see her not pressuring Lance to say it back as it is really a huge thing to say, but going back to Martee, she needs to manage her emotions.
In her defense, it’s just the way she is as she says to him in the last parts of the film, “I wish I had another heart, another one that doesn't love you too much.” Too bad she didn’t. Martee needs to know her worth just like any other strong and independent woman like Ms. Regine, but the movie decided to be true to some realities we don’t like seeing, that is, a person can be so drunk in love that they become blinded.
Be that as it may, Lance’s character is still a bit problematic. There’s a copypasta in the Philippines that goes like, “Sensya na ah, ito lang kasi ako. Wala akong kwenta. Sana hindi na lang ako pinanganak,” (I’m sorry, this is just how I am. I’m worthless. I wish I wasn’t born.) which is something that a manipulative “sadboi” would say. Lance doesn’t say those exact words in the film, but succeeds in gaslighting Martee in the end with his apology. To be honest, it wouldn’t end up like that if Lance didn’t react so violently towards Martee when he got back from Manila. It’s just plain character assassination. At first, his personality was acceptable since they didn’t know each other, but now they literally had a moment, not to mention sex with each other, and he made Martee a fool by hurting her deliberately.
Liwayway’s family from left to right: Lorenzo (Rhap Salazar), George (Hyubs Azarcon), and Guada (Erich Gonzales).
One thing that the film constantly reminds us is the struggle of the working class. It can be seen in Martee’s character when she’s undermined by Lance in the beginning. It’s also in the script when she says to Rosy (Denise Joaquin), “I don’t have money for a vacation,” where she implies that people like her, in between jobs and buried in debts, can’t have breaks. Even in Liwayway’s (Eugene Domingo) family, we see their struggle in their dependence on Lance and the resort for their financial needs. Too bad the film wasn’t confrontational about this and just gives an impractical solution that rings true to most Filipino families, which is to lay their problems to the Lord or, “Ipapasa-Diyos na lang.”
Like other romcom movies, the strength of Paano Kita Iibigin is also in its cast. Regine Velasquez did a great job in playing the lovesick Martee, while Piolo Pascual gave a complementary feat. Velasquez and Pascual’s chemistry is really out of this world, and their individual performances are also laudable that they were even nominated for a FAMAS award for their acting. The two child actors, Rhap Salazar and Quintin Alianza were also amazing, but the standout was definitely Eugene Domingo who is sure to make the audience laugh with her extroverted character.
The movie’s soundtrack reached Double Platinum status in the Philippines with tracks from Pascual and Velasquez themselves. It definitely is a strong album, but some scenes in the movie that make use of the songs seem a bit corny. The film’s editing doesn’t help either, especially with those flashbacks. The script can be hilarious and witty sometimes. One quotable line in particular was Martee’s “Nagmamahal ako pero namamatay ako,” a self-reflection of her foolishness in falling for Lance.
In the end, Paano Kita Iibigin answers the question in the beginning of this review with two words—just love. Martee didn’t think for a second about getting involved with Lance, and that’s probably the most basic, albeit reckless solution to that problem. It is a messy romcom with a wasted potential. The execution could have been more confrontational regarding its themes, and the script definitely needs a bit working on especially on the character development aspect. Despite all these, it’s still worth watching for the cast’s performances, and just for the feels.
Paano Kita Iibigin is available for streaming on KTX on January 28 for 150 PHP.
