Hello, Incompatibility, Goodbye: Rerouting Ethan and Joy’s Conflict
Hello, Incompatibility, Goodbye: Rerouting Ethan and Joy’s Conflict
Feature art by Kyle Livelo
Stating the obvious out of the way: Ethan del Rosario (Alden Richards), from the Hello, Love duology, is not a very good guy. With disarming dimples and tisoy features, Ethan was rightfully established as a playboy early on in the story: he enjoys the luxury of his life and jumps from one-night stands to two. Ethan does not grasp the concept of “no”; whether it has been said in English, Cantonese, or in his native tongue, he never takes no for an answer and makes sure he will get his way no matter what.
This trait is arguably one of the only few he shares with his love interest, Joy Marie Fabregas (Kathryn Bernardo). She says “no,” asserting that she doesn’t want to entertain Ethan because she doesn’t have the time to commit to a relationship. In the 2019 prequel, Hello, Love, Goodbye, she’s introduced as a breadwinner for her family while also working towards her own ambition. Joy also never takes no for an answer: she finds ways to get out of a problem, even though they can often lead her to a back alley chase after running away from police.
When Ethan asks, Joy says no. And when Joy refuses, Ethan determinedly responds, “No, I’m going to make that a yes.” This is a usual back-and-forth in the context of the Filipino tradition of courting or ligawan. The goal of the guy is to acquire that “yes.” Time is of the essence; that sweet affirmation (lit. “matamis na oo”) posed as a “prize” must be worked upon and must be “deserved.” Essentially, we also need to know who our significant others are, the very people we’re inviting into our lives. We need to brazenly express that we want them in our lives—but to what extent?
This is when cute becomes borderline creepy. Upon their meeting, Ethan’s goal became clear: to win Joy’s heart no matter what. Joy’s goal, on the other hand, was to migrate to Canada to reunite her whole family and fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse. They are onto different things; they want different things. This is the dilemma Hello, Love, Goodbye establishes. Given their circumstances and socioeconomic status, Joy is pragmatic and practical, shouldering responsibilities and dreams of her own, while Ethan enjoys his life and its privileges.
Ethan and Joy’s first conversation in Hong Kong | Photo from ABS-CBN Star Cinema
Because courting is gendered, its depiction in the romance genre is also a very gendered and layered thing (as every aspect of life is). No matter how much our female protagonist says, “No, I don’t want this now,” our male protagonist ignores it, spins it around, and takes it as “She must be convinced.” The stubborn girl must be swept off her feet and made to realize that she needs this man right now. This slow-burn “pursuit” is sweet. Everybody loves a will-they-won’t-they montage. Everybody knows the movie will end with a grand gesture because the guy will, for sure, get the girl. The most common reiteration of this girl is a career-driven female character like our very own Joy. The genre boxes its female characters, strangled by the dilemma to choose between relationships and ambition. This is probably peddled by the notion that women are weak and too emotional to handle both. Meanwhile, men are cast in a bad light and portrayed as controlling, dismissive, and unsupportive partners.
Hello, Love, Goodbye takes this tried and tired formula but manages to provide a more complex dynamic with its characters and setting. The film captures the gendered nuances of courting and relationships and expands it even more to another never-not-gendered experience of the overseas Filipino workers (OFWs).
Ethan and Joy meet at Canada | Photo from ABS-CBN Star Cinema
Being OFWs is the only other thing Ethan and Joy share in common and what fundamentally makes them incompatible. Ethan is a bartender while Joy is an overqualified domestic helper (DH). Joy says she doesn’t have time for relationships; Ethan insists she does. Joy eventually takes on a career opportunity. Ethan is dumbfounded that she chooses it.
Joy’s story is not new for us. Due to changes in immigration policies and socioeconomic conditions, Filipino workers abroad have boomed in the US since the 1960s. The Philippines remains the largest exporter of nurses in the world, a phenomenon known as “nursing exodus.” Until now, Filipinos are still trained to go abroad, conceiving this “tender loving care” caliber only our nurses could deliver. Filipino nurses, like Joy, are built differently.
According to the latest census, over 55 percent of OFWs across the globe are female. And within this portion, half of them are domestic helpers. Social worker and migrant rights advocate Professor Mary Lou Alcid describes this as the feminization of the OFW space. This is evident in the domestic work Joy has to shoulder, from taking care of the elderly, babysitting kids, cooking, cleaning, running errands, and everything in between. These are the menial and dirty chores expected of girls at a young age to accomplish voluntarily. So when the time comes, they become a creature of the household; caring, loving, obedient, and docile. As the eldest daughter, Joy already has to fulfill these “feminine” duties to take care of her employer while also taking upon the “masculine” role to provide for her family and herself. This complexity is something Ethan has a hard time understanding and what the sequel, Hello, Love, Again, heavily emphasizes.
Ethan helps out on an accident with an elderly at Joy’s work | Photo from ABS-CBN Star Cinema
By Hello, Love, Again, Ethan tries to understand Joy in this light. He helps Joy in her work as a DH and cleaner. Joy’s work is domestic and stereotypical to what women are expected to do. It’s also important to note that she chose this to support her family and her ambition. And Ethan feels so dehumanized and appalled by this decision. Why? Simply because he’s not used to doing the chores and the dirty work. Ethan did not have to work as much as Joy in Hong Kong as he was already a citizen. He’s fine with being a bartender when it was implied that he was supposed to be the manager. Ethan’s privilege hinders him from understanding where Joy’s drive is coming from. He feels so belittled in doing Joy’s work—absentmindedly belittling her for choosing to do it in the process—because ever since he didn’t have to stoop so low like that.
This gendered conflict and obvious life-priority mismatch would’ve been a much more interesting reason for them to realize their incompatibility. As OFWs, they share the same troubles. The pressure to provide, being far away from their families, but as different genders, their careers and opportunities remain unequal. Joy is driven and Ethan just drives along the highway. The sequel misses the opportunity to address the root of their incompatibility and maneuvers to a much easier route of an infidelity storyline instead.
Joy wanders the streets of Calgary | Photo from ABS-CBN Star Cinema
The beauty of the Hello, Love movies lies in its OFW characters. Both films unfold as a modern fable, shedding a light upon the troubles of underrepresented and misrepresented figures of today’s society. They introduce us and make us empathize with characters like Joy—strong, motivated female characters in an arguably misogynistic genre have agency and pursue things on their own, other than being pursued by a man.
Hello, Love, Goodbye and its conclusion Hello, Love, Again show how modern storytelling can still box its female characters in a love-vs-relationship dilemma in a compelling way. Being caught between choosing a steadfast career and the love of your life remains a valid problem to face and is grounded in reality for some of us. The conclusion of Ethan and Joy’s story shows us that it’s not about what female characters choose between the two, or why do they still need to choose in the first place: it’s why they choose it and how they were written to do so.
